LETS CALL A CAB! ....A lesson in REALITY!

So much has happened since the cop movement in front of my house and I haven’t had the decency to report to the front lines. Been kinda busy between the two crack babies travelling thru Europe tracking their crazy movements, having the flu and the 24 peoples / 13 countries that passed thru this house each with very interesting stories that I would love to report and later probably do a back story based on the recent article written with regards to my predicament.

But this…..I had to write.

Tonight was the night where I received 1 German, 1 from Korea, 6 last minute guest, 3 from Ukraine, 2 from Siberia (Asians) and another 3 expecting from Russian and Ukraine. That was the total for the night. Evidently, the season is not slow for me as of yet.

Outside of those that were already ‘scheduled’ to be here, the 6 last minutes were the unexpected. It was a group from Orland Park….a local….perhaps those may consider them boosie. I may have even offended one because he had this slick style shirt on and I called him ‘slick rick’. So when I asked his name...he said, ‘ace’. I asked, ‘is that your real name?’ Taken back a minute…he replied …yes it is. I didn’t mean to make him upset but I had started my long evening off with an 8% alcohol beverage beer called ‘Steel Reserved’. Many of you may know my beer by the name of my alter ego ‘sybil’ who seems to show up during a drinking of more than 20oz. But don’t worry…Sybil didn’t show. But the guy was clearly perturbed! Hehehe

Anyway, Ace /Slick rick was from California but his ‘hostess’ from Orland Park was a nice guy…seemingly grounded. He was travelling with 2 from S. Africa – Cape Cod and Johannesburg and one from Germany (all white in decescent). All three girls were tall blond and beautiful. Could have been models. They came into the house like a windstorm. Summing up the place in an instant but like something out of a movie… judgemental….not the girls..but the guys who were trying to impress these beautiful girls of 21-23. I tried my best not to back slap some folks.

As I tried to be polite as possible to the guys as my sick sense were saying these ‘b’s (the men) were overly trying to impress these girls (by bringing them into the hood!)….. I systematically try to tear them down by my repeated sarcasm….the girls felt completely at ease with me, even on several occasions trying to get me to come with them to come to the club with them. However, the ‘Arthur and Itis’ was saying, ‘hades no’. The girls even extended the invitation to the other guest that were in the house but they were plum tuckered out from the long journeys of their day and tours. They politely turned them down.

So slick rick and silent killer (the other white meat) tried to impress them with their charm and the onlookers were looking at each other thinking, ‘is that the best they can come up with?’ Even after they had left, we all had a laugh at their expense saying that they were trying wayyyyy tooo hard.

Anyway, what brought me to writing about this particular story was the fact that ‘slick rick’ from California had called a taxi to pick them up to take them to the club downtown.

AN HOUR LATER….NO CAB

That’s when I had to inform them the reality of being in the hood. They cursed and sweared and called repeatedly back to the cab company as to where their cab were???

So the S. African girls would ask me, ‘annie, do you know a cab company that will come and pick them up?’

I replied, ‘in this neighborhood???’ and laughed. When I explained how my long term guest couldn’t get Chinese food 3 miles away (which she concurred), the guys kept saying I understand cabs why come to the neighborhood. But in the same breath, they kept cursing how the cap kept lying to them. I told them that I can’t really call another cap company because if they come and the original come, they will not be able to get a cab to come back.

Clearly they were NOT HAPPY. I said, ‘Didn’t you read the ad? Be like the real Chicago folks??’ You just been hood winked! “

Talk about words of fire. The other international guest ‘got it’ sorta but couldn’t believe it. The locals from the state ‘understood’ but didn’t.

So about another hour later, when the cab STILL didn’t come, (even after repeated calls).

I said, while they were sitting on the porch brewing about how they will not be able to get to down town…., I said, ‘momma annie has a solution!”

INSTANTLY you can see all eyes on me. The pressure is on.

As the old proverb states….if the system works against you….you got to make the system work for you.

So I said, ‘Ok kids….listen and listen hard and do exactly as I say…”

Eyes bulked and intentive ears were on me…

“Recently and with every white guest, the cops have picked up all my guest scaring them to believing that this is a dangerous neighborhood. “

After explain in short the situation, I continued, ‘this is what you have to do.

Walk to the corner. The cops come down that street every 5 minutes more than the bus. When the cops see you, they will come to your aid. YOU DO NOT SAY YOU”RE VISITING ANNIES’. Instead…you say, ‘I got off the wrong stop on the bus and need to get to the train!”

Before I could finish, one guy asked, ‘so do we bring our bags.?’

I replied NOOO… I said, ‘you just say, ‘ you got off the wrong bus / train and let them take you to the train. They are your taxi. Tell them you were trying to get to the red line.

So the tallest girl from Germany said, ‘hell yeah man….lets do it.’. I was dying. The other girls joined in. But one girl asked, ‘so they wont get a taxi to come here? I said, ‘girl, you’re from S. Africa….you don’t know this?’ At that everybody laughed.

So off they went, scared at first into the street lights…hoping to see a cop to get a taxi ride to the train. After taking another swig of whisky and coke….they were off like momma annie’s brave white soldiers…to have the system work for them! LOLOLOL

It was a fantastic night. The other 5 guest in the house were laughing because partly they knew I spoke the truth since they had experienced some of the cops ‘concern’ and the non delivery of their foods based on a few blocks.

So out the six troops left…beautiful tall blond beauties in the face of being black for one night.

Priceless.