DEAR GOD... SAVE HER!

So yesterday, me and my sister-in-law, set out to taking care of some bizniz to help prepare her property for #Airbnb. As we finished, we went to the car. We put McKenzie, the one year old 'super smart' baby, in the baby seat. Since McKenzie kept playing with the car keys, setting the alarm off, this prompted mom to take the keys from her and place the keys in the front seat. After exchanging some paperwork, we all said goodbye and I headed to my car.

"OH MY GOD! Kenzie in the car!" she screamed.

First thought was, 'ok??'

"She's locked in the car!", she yelled.

Ahhhhh mannn! The keys and her phone was in the car to. Good thing I didn't pull off. McKenzie had her coat on and was locked in the seat. We kept trying to tell her to go to the front and get the keys. She had unbuckled her seatbelt many times before and climbed to the front. This ain't no normal one year old.

My brother/her husband/baby daddy, told us to call the fire department. After all they would come if you lock a cat in the car.

The firetruck arrived but passed us by!

I jumped in my car, frantically trying to catch the truck. Missed crashing my car into another car behind me, backing up FAST and stopping by a finger nail from the other car!

Jesus must have pulled the brakes.

When I turned the corner, the firetruck was heading the opposite direction, passing the street again! I made a u-turn but not in time. The truck disappeared. My hands were shaking so bad because of the adrenaline, that it took me five tries to dial 911 again! After calling them back, I headed to the her car. The firetruck was there and a police car were there.

It took about 10 minutes for them to open the door. It felt like forever. The baby was clearly sweating and crying. Mom was just in tears trying to calm McKenzie down. I had felt so bad for mom because she couldn't stop crying while trying to console McKenzie inside the car. The fire department was working so hard in opening that door. It may have been four guys around the car trying to reposition the 'jimmy' on that lock.

They got her out.

Since it had been about 10 minutes passing, they poured some water on her head to cool her off. Even the lady police officer was super sweet. And in no time, McKenzie was back scrolling her smartphone for youtube.

As if this was the end of the day. It was only the beginning.

Now my knee is still feeling like a twisty fry and hard to bend. I had promised this Airbnb guest, an older lady, who's actually had been helping out in the house, even though I didn't ask, to help her. She said that she was going to move her things from her old storage to a new storage facility. I said that I could take her in my car. Not a problem. After all, she said it was a 'few bags' and should be able to fit all in my car. She said that her original plans was to deliver the stuff on the bus. I couldn't let her do that. So I offered to take her.

Now...I should have gotten the hint as to how this day was going to end after I had offered to take her....especially when she ask, "By the way, could we make another trip after the delivery?"

Sure. We can go to the grocery store. (This was what i was assuming she was needing to do afterwards.)

She arrived at the old storage around 8 that morning. I figured everything would be ready for when I arrive. I was running late but it was fine.

Around 1 pm., I get up to the storage and enter the gate with the given code. I turned the corner ....and low and behold, there she was!

She was sitting in front of a 10' x 10' storage unit!

My first thought was, 'she's leaving a lot of stuff behind!'

I get out of the car and she's rambling about what to keep and what not to keep. There were a few bags sitting outside of the storage room. Everything was in plastic bags and giant bins.

She turn to me and ask, "You think we can move all of this in one or two trips?"

I said of coarse. I was assuming that she was referring to the items outside of the room.

But for clarity, I asked, "which stuff??' because I assumed that she was leaving a whole lot of stuff behind. I was clearly confused and suddenly feeling anxious because I had somewhere else to be after moving her. She didn't seem like the type that leave good stuff in the garbage. Perhaps she had plans to donate to goodwill.

This is where I need video. If you could have saw my face when she answered. It would have clearly answered the question after what happened next.

"All of this stuff," she repeated but motioning her hands to the open storage box as if it was the grand prize from the 'Price is Right' show.

"All this stuff. We are not taking the bins....only the stuff IN the bins." She was pointing to EVERYTHING that was in the container!

JESUS CHRIST OF LADDER DAY SINKS!

WHAT THE WHAT?!!

I promise you that it felt as if the skies darkened and dense madness had overshadowed me. Sybil was surely to make an appearance. But she was weak. She didn't eat or drink yet!

You ever see a movie where you see your future flash before your eyes...right before you die?

I was that person.

I don't believe in hitting old people, but a rubber club may have been the trick to ease my conscience of performing 'wack-a-mo' on this lady.

If it wasn't for the fact that she been cleaning and cooking for me even though I didn't ask, I couldn't stay mad....at least not for the first two hours. But by hour six?!! I even started to examine what exactly did you clean and cook that would be worth this madness she wanted me to do.

Her storage was on 111th & Western. I had to deliver it to 57th and Western. I have a 2006 4-door Cavalier (which will later be converted to a coffin in my untimely departure). I also didn't have my dentures in my mouth. I had to rush out to meet my sis in law that morning and was running late. By the time I reached the storage place, my jaws were starting to hurt.

After packing the first load of bags in the car, we proceeded to the new storage facility. She talked/rambled the whole way there. I was in so much pain from my twisted feeling knee, especially after hauling the stuff in the car... to my skeleton mouth, blowing air thru my jaws to relieve the pain...I didn't even eat yet, AND it was hot???? When she talked, I felt like i was listening to Charlie Brown's friend, "wha wha whaaa wha wha....". I would have reached for Linus's blanket and tied it around her head with the extra duct tape found on the floor.

I LITERALLY sat in that car PRAYING, "please please please DEAR GOD JEHOVAH, give me the patience and the ability to stop cursing in my head."

This too shall pass?

And this was just the first trip.

When we returned to make the second trip, I may have developed a tear duct. Reality was starting to sink in. Tears of pain were mailing in absentee ballets before the actual 'cry' festival arrived.

As calculated as I am and surveying the items in real time numbers, my conclusion of the matter was...we won't see home until tomorrow, especially since it would take her time to go thru some stuff to see whether she would 'put it in the back of the (new) storage or the front. It was as if she thought I knew exactly the significance of every item she held dear to her heart and how important it would be to her....especially this blue blanket! She rambled and straddled....Just like how old people do. I can say that to since I'm there now. My grandmother rambled and straddled everything when she moved one PLANT from one part of the room to another!

It was bad enough that I saw no end to this but I was NOT about to hear her ramble thru another long ride to the storage. I like this lady a lot. She's super sweet! But even sugar will kill you if you eat to much of it and with great pains.

So I suggested/insisted that she stay behind and sort out whats coming and I will deliver it to the storage myself. My God in Heaven, I didn't realize what I was saying or what that even meant!

"Are you sure? I can come with you!" she asked.

I just thought to myself, 'lady, if you come with me, archeologists are going to find something more than old bags in your storage room... years from now.'

Sweet Jesus No! Bye Felicia!

"I'm fine, you just sort it out what you want coming", I answered. "I'm sure. It can go faster this way." Yeah...faster than a turtle race with two turtles that have no legs.

We loaded up the car for the second trip. I consider myself a 'professional' packer. I moved 14 times in my life. I got it down to a science. Even with my 'special abilities' of packing, I looked up at the remaining items in her old storage container and thought 'DEAR GOD!" After loading the car for the second trip, inside my body I think I bursted into tears and flames.

"Sybil....look away", I kept saying to myself.

Off I go.

It took twice as long to get there for the second trip because now its rush hour!

I get to the storage and unload the entire car on the long trolly and the elevator. I send up the items and have to walk up the flight of stairs to meet the inventory on the other end. I felt like the Crypt Keeper trying to walk up the stairs. The sound of the trolly's metal wheel clanking unevenly against the floor, gave me the feeling that I have taken on the role of the 'Hunchback of Notre Dame' working as an intern for Dr. Frankenstein!

I slowly pushed what heavy items on that dead man's trolly, down the long corridor of doom. Somewhere in my trolly felt as if it had a dead body loaded on to it. If I closed my eyes, I could swear i was in one of those movies where the lights are flicking on and off in the ceiling, while you drag squeaky trolly toward a metal plate to dump the body in an old rusty furnace!

From the elevator to the unit, I hobbled back and fourth THREE times just to unload everything off the elevator and into the storage unit. The LONG trolly was packed high.

So back I go...to the old storage.

I grab a burger at McDonalds. I'm not suppose to eat hard foods yet but I was about to pass out. It's 5 p.m. and I didn't have a crust of bread yet! I tore into that quarter pounder and gummed it to death. Wait, maybe I inhaled it thru my nose. Either way, I was so hungry that normally, since my gums are still healing, I can't eat the french fries.

Not today!

I soaked the fries with as much ketchup in order to soften them, smashed them up to loosen the fibers, feeling for soft spots and snapped the hard ends as you do with raw string beans. I stuck the 'soft' parts into what was left of my burger so that the bread would reduce the abrasions incurred on my gums. I should have dunked it in the coke to loosen them up even more.... but had already put the ketchup on it. Yes...I got some abrasions and gum scrapes later, but gladly took one for the team.

It took FOUR trips (or was it FIVE) to move that stuff to the new storage. We didn't finish until 9 p.m.!!! I told her that If i knew she had more than a 'few bags', I would have had my brother do it with his truck! We couldn't do a separate day for half the stuff because this was the last day before they locked her out of the unit. She even asked could we make one more trip (a six trip) to get her privacy screen!

I said, "No. If I drive this street one more time, I'm going to run somebody over with my car." Somebody real close to me.

On that last load, when we arrived to the new storage, I told her I couldn't do it! I couldn't unload another bag. I couldn't walk another step. She would have to take it to the unit herself. I was done. My body was about to rip me a new one. Even now, I feel as if I need to stick a pin in my calves to relieve the pressure. I even made my own ice packs - zip lock bags with water strapped around my legs with more duct tape.

And if THAT wasn't enough, I had two #airbnb guests waiting at the house to be checked in. Thank goodness they were patient! I had Mississippi prepare one of the beds.

I took a shower, washed a load of towels since ALL of my towels were gone. I even went BACK out to get a bottle of wine. I wanted to forget this day. I think part of me wanted Sybil to show herself to. Who says prayer isn't powerful. 'Sybil' went back in the hole like an old groundhog!

My night ended around 4 am....non stop.

I had to walk away from the lady for the next day but we are still good.

Thank goodness I like this lady.