Ghetto Girl Hilton 'Brave Heart' Award Goes to...!!

Marking my one year anniversary with Airbnb, the last two weeks of insanity (good insanity)...has marked a commencement of some prestigious awards!

The gHilton ‘Braveheart’ (or CrazyHorse) award goes to .......

Before I announce the winner, I would like to say...

We are ALIVE!!!!

After a failed experience to see a movie in the park at the Montgomery Ward park downtown, which I thought was a perfect location based on last year, we had to turn back…so I thought.

When 7 of us (Urbana, N. Dakota, Nebraska, Texas, Thailand, Italian Wisconsin) arrived there, I didn’t realize that they had changed the layout of the park to the point that you had to be Jesus on the mount to get a good view of the movie! The park designers had removed the strategically placed hills and placed the movie screen in a LOWER area instead of elevating it so that everybody could see. So as we tried to stay to watch it between the heads of folks in front of us while trying to NOT roll down the back end of the hill, the sound went out and that’s when we thought….this is it. Time to go.

So I’m thinking we are all going to go home, drink some booze and trip out ….. AT HOME. However, with some last minute boost of energy, North Dakota wanted to try another park…and Thailand wanted to go to. Initially they didn’t really want to come since they had been working. Once they have left the house, something happened. If I had known what was to come, I would have fed them some special brownies and dragged their bodies back into the car and put their butts to bed. The following events put 10 years of grey in my hair.

North Dakota had the list of movies that was playing that day and suggested that we should try the movies in the park located at….

4700 W. Jackson…the WEST SIDE!.....near Cicero.

Remember the star trek slogan, ‘to go where no man has gone before”? This was a place where no cop has gone before…and definitely no white person. In fact, I think it may have been safe to say, no light skinned black person either! Growing up, my sisters used to call me ol' yella. And for the first time in my life i was thinking, dang....I should have stayed in the sun today!!!! As soon as we got off the exit, I knew we were somewhere in a place we should not be.

The sky suddenly got DARKER and DUSTIER mainly because the roads were not gravel. Greeted at the corner or the highway was what seemingly a prostitute to welcome visitors into the area. And the words that automatically came out of my mouth was ‘hell no’. I was looking to turn around quickly but abruptly North Dakota wanted to continue the adventure. So like the dummy in a bad movie where the black people get killed first, I continued to drive into the pits of darkness.

IF the east side of the tunnel is usually the better side of an area and the west side of the tunnel is even worse…then this would be the worst side, and the side we were crossing, under the viaduct….to the other side….was the worser worser side.

The car sank a bit under the quick sand beneath the gravel of the overpass as we entered the unknown. Fog/smog or whatever you want to call it….grew thick and grey. Wasn’t sure it was gunfire or what. My eyes were burning. It turned out to be over smoked barbeque. I kept saying hell no over and over…. as if these were the only words that I knew. Then I hear from the back seat…. there’s the park! While Thailand was urging me to park.

I didn’t see nothing! All I saw was thick smoke, dirt filled air and what may have been commandos of a different army. So I went to the corner to turn around into the Citgo (which could have easily been used as an old salon in a western movie). I turned around mainly to get back to the highway but before I could move even more, the voice said, ‘look Annie! A parking spot!’

Could they be serious?

So I turned the corner only to find myself in the back end of the park/dirt patch of land facing the ‘projects’.

Circling back to the front of this ‘park’ and finding a spot near the smoke filled gate, they jumped out of the car practically while I could hear the voice of Thailand saying, ‘I see balloons! Come on Annie come on!’.

I told them ‘yawl crazy and I’m not getting out of this car!! I will watch the movie from this car (and call for backup).” Although they tried to drag me out, I refused.

After about 10 minutes in the car, my fear just escalated. I felt like the idiot in the movie who waited behind in a room alone while the GROUP moved forward to see what is in there!

So North Dakota kept texting me…. telling me its fine, come on in! I was too scared to stay in the car alone. To many ‘gang like’ folks standing around. I was just hoping I was black enough to blend in with the crowd. Maybe some of my Englewood dew would stick on my face showing some sibilance of no fear as I walked into the lion’s den.

I past the first round of guys that seemed to be having some trouble outside the gate. The words I kept hearing from the biggest guy was, ‘naw mannn, not tonight, there’s too many kids here….not tonight’.

Wheres the bloody cops when you need them!!! Not one car did I see the whole time.

Things seemed tense. Folks were pushing this one guy back from doing whatever he wanted to do. Walking passed the crowed, even bumping into one of the girls who turned around quickly while I apologized as quickly as humanly possible, I continued to walk thru the thick barbeque smoke that was blocking the entrance. The smoke was so thick, you couldn’t see past the crowd.

After passing thru and the clouds cleared up, I could see lots of kids watching the movie. But where was Thailand and North Dakota?

Like kids in a candy store, they were all the way up to the front standing next to a guy making balloon creations. With the biggest grins on their faces and balloon creations in their hands, I didn’t know whether to laugh or slap them silly! My heart was still beating a mile a minute. Thailand turned around and said to me, ‘this is for you! North Dakota had him make you a flower’. Beautiful. But what I would have preferred is what they had…a gun and a sword.

I think we were the only ones in the park that didn’t have a gun. I had texted the other guest if there was something they would like for me to relay to Jesus directly and that I loved them all.

And so we stayed. We watched Mission Impossible. Fitting….a movie like this journey. Thailand and North Dakota seemed so at ease….or was that the look that crazy people have? Fearless.

About 20 minutes before the movie was ending, a lot of folks were leaving the park. A normal person would have said, that’s our cue to get the crap out of here. But noooooo…..not us! We were in for the whole ride!!! I continued to drink my wine straight from the bottle to reduce any feeling of pain if I was to get shot.

Finally the movie ended. I couldn’t get to the car fast enough. I was excited, scared, freaked out and everything in between. I have to admit, once I saw civilization, I felt alive in a demented way!

As we were driving back toward the highway, we finally saw 2 under covers. I told them that they were there to pick up the bodies. They should have been there BEFORE the movie started.

So the ‘Braveheart’ award goes to North Dakota since this is 2nd major attempt for craziness. His first attempt at bravery aka...insanity... was to go into a gas station which was clearly over ridden with a 'highly intense situation brewing' at which i told him in no uncertain terms to "LETS GET OUT OF HERE. Something is about to go down!!" Walking in without a worry in the world...like something out of a John Wayne Movie... for? A bottle of water and ice cream cone.

And the winner up. …Thailand for her pursuit of happiness…balloons and free popcorn. I have a feeling that Thailand may even surpass North Dakota one day and this is only the beginning of a long summer…. especially since our next was in Pilsen…an area where I’m told three rival Spanish gangs live. Could we all have a death wish? Maybe….

Now for the ultimate award, ‘Who let the Crackhead In!”